I've Had Good Days and Bad Days...

and going half mad days...as Jimmy would say.

My dad was so weak for so long that I think it is a blessing for him to finally be free of it all. The pain, which he has always been pretty stoic about, but even more the monotony that his declining health had made of his days. So it isn't in me to regret seeing the end. And there is certainly no way to say I'm surprised by it.

But it still is startling somehow, over and over throughout the day. I think because he was on the edge for so long it just came to feel like he always would be. And so much of my time was organized around that. The freed up time should be a good thing, and it actually is, but in odd moments it is just...strange...